Pickle Pumpers

The company that makes the boring as shit online game Evony have said that after they started using this advertisement their subscription rates sky rocketed.

Now they’re even using porn stars in their ads like in the following.

So that got me thinking; what if other people started using ads like that too?

I just finished making this video. I created the music in Garageband and mixed it with the video using Final Cut Express.

The kid is an anti-gay rights creationist but I don’t even care about that, I just wanted to make a remix using an Internet Meme.

I’m writing a few Flash games and when doing research I ran across this hi-larious video by Nathan Germart on Lost Garden. The guy’s kinda creepy looking, I think his hair has the power to see inside my soul, but this video is pretty damned funny.

Granny porn has never been so unappealing

Found this picture on Pale is the New Tan but I think her sign is much more interesting than her fake tan.

A dangerously pregnant bead of sweat steels its courage and breaks free… racing down my flushed face it finds the cool dark crevasse between my lips and disappears. Sweet soft moisture and the sharp taste of salt at first feels refreshing on my parched lips till the salt leeches away the fresh reminding me of the reason for my sweating; I’m mired in miles long traffic and the A/C’s on the fritz. Stupid America cars.

As exciting as counting the beads of sweat dripping from my forehead sounds I figure I might as well make the most of the time so, in one of the five minute respites between four foot advances, I whip out my handy dandy iPhone and start looking for something funny to listen to on iTunes.

It’s a lot of misses and very few hits in the podcast world so I suffer through quite a few out-of-work DJ’s trying desperately to defibrillate long gone careers… the doctor’s already called it but they can’t let go of the paddles.

I’m not even sure why most of those hacks were in the business. All I can do is point to the fact that radio sucks and is failing and it’s the fault of the assholes that hired douchbags like this prick I’m listening to now. This fucking prick that is now fucking up my listening enjoyment on the gods damned highway!

Breath in… now out…

Fuck this shit. I throw caution to the wind and recklessly mash my thumb on some random iTunes staff pick, something called, “Comedy and Everything Else…”

Sounds interesting… and it has ellipses in the title… I like ellipses… a lot… ask anybody… go ahead… I’ll wait… no, really, go ask someone… go ask… I’m not going to continue till you do… You did? Really? What’d they say? Oh, that’s nice… And how’s their mother? Aw, sorry to hear that but I guess it was kinda expected what with the goiter and all… What? Oh, right… back to the story…

Cool comedy rains down on my humor parched mind like crisp hundred dollars bills on a supple stripper’s ass at an especially gratuitous Player’s Ball. I have found my people and one of them is a Mexican… the other two not so much.

I’m talking about a very, very fucking funny podcast called “Comedy and Everything Else…”

If you had to label them I guess you would say they are “alternative” comedians though they don’t do mime acts with French clowns or anything; they just say things that are funny if you actually enjoy thinking.

Some comics don’t like the term “alternative” but I do because it’s basically slang for, “We’re just as tired of easy, slap-stick ‘humor’ so we’re going to try actually being funny instead of going for easy laughs.”

I’m not saying you have to have a degree in astrophysics to understand the humor, far from it, I’m just saying you have to be able to think on your feet and “get it.” They also do a lot of bits that the, how shall we say, dumbasses don’t get. Like they do a bit where they are just talking all over each other saying witty yet silly things; that’s the bit but they still get people complaining about them talking over each other.

You can’t help stupid though so you just have to hand them a lollipop and hope they get confused, try to swallow it whole, and choke to death. I go through a lot of lollipops that way but it’s worth it if I can help just one kid.

As with anything that’s good it’s good because of the people. Hosting duties are shared by a trio of talented comedians including Stefané Zamorano, Todd Glass, and Jimmy Dore which ensures there are rarely any lulls. Though even the lulls are entertaining as the hosts are comfortably aware of their own stage presence; they’re able to make the awkward entertaining.

Jimmy Dore, the leader, spends his days rescuing beached iguana and catering to the wealthiest of Hollywood’s gay elite. But by night he becomes a super comedian able to smoke huge splifs while simultaneously doing some other shit and stuff… I could name all of the stuff he’s done but it will just give him a big head. Plus he knows what he’s done. If you want to know go look it up yourself you lazy fuck. Oh, and he does the political humors which I like unless he says something I disagree with then he’s a stupid dick; but mostly he’s awesome… OK… always awesome.

Stefané Zamorano, the leader, started out life as a school teacher and by selflessly sleeping with Jimmy Dore for many years was able to trebuchet herself to an amazingly successful career staring in numerous blockbuster hits. Why who could forget the poignantly sad children’s film “Chump Change” and a perennial favorite around our household, “A Day in the Life of a Bathroom Key!” Now she says funny shit on the fake radio!

Todd Glass, the leader, launched his skyrocketing career at the ripe age of 16… only to see it burn up upon reentry shortly thereafter. Todd likes to pretend he’s not that bright but he really doesn’t need to pretend. But I kid because I love. Todd is one of the main reasons I love the show so much; he’s a lovable goof that’s smarter than he pretends. Mr. Todd has the ability to be the common man while simultaneously parodying the silly shit people say.

I think that’s about all I can say so check them out and most importantly listen to their old stuff too. They are one of the few great shows that still have all of their shows available from the very beginning. Get ‘em while they’re hot…

Podcast: Comedy and Everything Else
Hosts: Todd Glass, Stefané Zamorano, and Jimmy Dore
Producer: Matt Mira (http://twitter.com/MattMira)

Podcast:
http://www.comedyandeverythingelse.libsyn.com/

Links:
Jimmy Dore
Todd Glass
Stefané Zamorano